I think I’m done

23 Oct

I feel shattered and broken.  I found a site that has posted Waiting for Mercy without my permission. There are over 900 downloads since August 2012. And Mercy died a sudden and painful death in my heart.

I can’t stop this train. ePiracy is going to happen. So what to do? New Years Resolution, not sure.

I appreciate all the support and those who have like, loved and even hated Mercy. It’s been an interesting ride. A journey I needed to take. And although there is much left unsaid, I’m not sure I can continue to take time to write. Especially,  if someone is going to give it away without my permission. I need to earn a living like everyone else. That doesn’t seem to matter to some.

So I need to think this through…..

Maybe time will heal my wounds. Maybe not.

Signing off for now.


Posted by on October 23, 2012 in Blog


44 responses to “I think I’m done

  1. Michele Hammel

    October 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Shannon, please don’t get discouraged. I know it doesn’t feel like there are any honest people left in the world, but please believe me when I tell you that more people do the right thing than don’t. Just as people steal from brick and mortar stores, people will steal online.

    I can tell you personally for myself that when I really enjoy an author’s work (and I really enjoy yours!) I’ve sometimes gone out and not only bought the eBook version of a book, but the paper book as well. I can’t afford to do this with all books, but my point is I believe in supporting author’s work (so they can keep on writing the books I love) just like people support their favorite musicians or artists. When my daughter started reading your books, I bought her own copies that she could read on her phone (that’s the great thing about eBooks, the prices are such that most of the time I can afford these little luxuries. I’m a big believer in nurturing a love of books and it gives us something to talk about!) I can’t bring myself to believe that I must be an anomaly. There are more people out there that understand the need and right of an author to earn a living than people that justify stealing.

    We just have to keep fighting online piracy by educating people of the damage it does to the author’s livelihood. It’s a message that unfortunately will have to be repeated many, many times. Please keep writing and I’ll keep buying your books! : )

  2. Suzanne

    October 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    What!!! Aw Shannon. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I don’t know what to say. It’s awful that someone will steal rather than pay 99c for a book. I hope this doesn’t mean you’re giving up. Is there nothing whatsoever that can be done about this!!??

  3. ewa

    October 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Incredibly sorry this is happening to you. I clearly understand where you’re coming from, it is vital that everyone is aware of the illegitimate download of eBooks. I actually cried reading this. Pleaseeeee, don’t get discouraged. Shame on them!
    P.S. Hope your rest of the week and weekend gets a tad better!! this means AOM will not be released?
    P.S. 2. this means AOM will not be released?

  4. Kayla

    October 23, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Oh my gosh 😦 This is absolutely horrible. This makes those of us who actually are honest and pay for the books we receive suffer. I’m so sorry that this is happened and I’m so sad now because you may not finish their story 😦 Please keep your head up. Not all of us are like that – We wait patiently even when we feel like release days can’t get here soon enough. You are right – you, as a writer, must earn a living and how are you supposed to do so when things like this occur. But as a fan who buys your books, I hope you can still find it in your heart to continue writing. 😦

  5. shannondermott

    October 23, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    Thanks. I appreciate your kind words. Unfortunately, on this site, not one but three individuals felt the need to post both Beg for Mercy and Waiting for Mercy. Kind of them 😦 The combined total of downloads is around 900. If you add that to the 150 downloads of Beg for Mercy I found earlier this year. That’s over a 1000 downloads. And most sites that I find illegal posts don’t list the number of downloads. These two do. So who knows the actual total of illegal downloads.

    In writing, for publishers everything is about the numbers. Bigger numbers mean more opportunities. I just lost at least 1000 opportunities I’ll never get back.

    As this just happened, I need time to put this all in perspective. I need to take a step back and re-evaluate.

    No matter what I decide, I will try not to leave you guys hanging. I’ll at least tell you Flynn’s fate if nothing else.

  6. Alana Rock

    October 23, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    Please, please, please don’t stop! I’ve even purchased more copies as giveaways of your books. I’ll keep fighting ePiracy, keep blogging about it. I LOVE your stuff, please, please, please. I’ll beg. I’ll troll ePiracy sites on your behalf and give you the heads up the moment I find one, anything…. we LOVE you!

  7. shannondermott

    October 23, 2012 at 8:09 pm was responsive in removing my books from their site. However, they need better system in place for copyright material not to be downloaded by unauthorized individuals in the first place. Many authors’ works are out there. Because the site is used by publishers, it looks legit.

    Anyway, my husband’s vote is for me to quit writing while I’m ahead so to speak. But that was expected.

    Thanks for all the love…. I still need time to think.

    • Suzanne

      October 24, 2012 at 9:20 am

      Shannon, you are an extremely talented author, as proven by your amazing books and even just the little POV’s that you post. If it’s something that you enjoy, I wouldn’t give it up because of these people. I realise this is very easy to say from where I stand, but I would love to be able to write a book but as one of the most unimaginative people in the world, it would be impossible for me, I struggle to write reviews. And I don’t mean to offend, but I don’t understand your husband encouraging you to give up. If it’s something that you love to do, would you be able to just drop it. I really hope you don’t give up, for my selfish reasons but also for you and for the many fans I know you have out there. I understand you probably feel very violated right now, as well as mad and so many other emotions too. But hopefully with a few weeks to put things in perspective,you will feel slightly better and want to fight back. I would be delighted to do anything I can to help you out, checking sites, promotion etc,. just give me a shout.

  8. Lyla

    October 24, 2012 at 6:10 am

    Wow, so it’s over. I’m really sadd to learn those news. I absolutely loved reading this series, loved the protagonists, loved your writting. I hope you would change your mind, but it is totally understanding that you won’t regarding where you stand. I’m sorry your work is being stealed. I hope there was something I could do to help you. It is a shame, for us your readers, that you stop writting because we love your books and a shame for you to stop doing what you love. I hope you’ll feel better andwish you well in whatever you decides to do. (Please excuse me for any gramatical mistakes or else, I’m French lol)

    • shannondermott

      October 24, 2012 at 6:50 am

      I don’t know Lyla. For the things I’ve already written like Through the Lens which is near to completion, maybe I’ll still release.

      I’m considering changing AOM to make it the conclusion of the series even though it wasn’t meant to be. I’m still too close to what happened to make final decisions about anything.

      Give me time to get over the mad I’m feeling.

  9. Freak-YA-tastic

    October 24, 2012 at 9:50 am


    I’m part of the reader’s who buy the ebook and if I enjoy the novel I buy it in paperback too. I understand how you must feel. I’m writing too even if I never published anything, and it would crush me to see my novel on e-piracy websites.

    I hope that you won’t give up writing because for us, your fans, it’d be a real loss. I discovered your writing style with Mercy and I fell for your style, stories and characters. I really hope that you won’t give up, that you will publish Through the Lens and many other novels.

    Of course, whatever I’m going to write won’t change a thing because it’s your choice. I cross my fingers because, hell, I’m a selfish reader! 😉

  10. shannondermott

    October 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Unfortunately, my name is not J.K. Rowling, Stephanie Meyer or John Grisham. I haven’t gotten large advances or reaped huge benefits from my writing that a couple of thousand books stolen wouldn’t matter. Even if I was, I don’t think my values would change.

    With that said, I’ve given up a lot for writing. And I can still feel the need to write. What may change is how much time I put into it anymore. It doesn’t seem worth the lost sleep, lost weekends or lost time just hanging out with my family.

    TTL will probably be released. Maybe not on time, but it’s basically done. I have a pre-planned blog tour with Mercy starting next week. I’ll have to find it in me to do the extras for that. Right now, I feel like if I wrote Mercy it wouldn’t be paranormal romance. It would turn into a horror novel with a blood bath of epic proportions that only Paul could survive, lol. (At least I’m finding my humor).

    As far as my husband, he sees my writing as an expensive (time) “hobby”. This is just further proof to him that it’s not worth it.

    Maybe for now, I just need a vacation from writing. What’s that saying? Distance/Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

    Thanks again for your support. It does mean a lot.

  11. Erica Cavill

    October 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

    I can appreciate the way you feel right now as I am a adolescent therapist and when things are good I feel awesome. This week has not been a good week for me and that feeling crushes all of the recent good things that I have experienced at my job. With that said I threw up in my mouth and felt like crying when I read your post. I wish people could respect a good thing. I completely understand wanting to read the next book as soon as I finish one but that is part of my love of reading. I wait until the author finishes their job and allows me into their world. It will be hard to not go further on Mercy’s journey but I doubt it will be as hard as dealing with the feelings you have right now. Take care of yourself and know that you have loyal fans.

  12. shannondermott

    October 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Thanks! You guys are certainly making it hard. I promise to not leave you guys hanging. Like I said before, I will at the very least wrap up the cliffhanger (I love them if you haven’t noticed). Maybe I’ll do a Stephanie Meyers and post what I’ve written of AOM on my website, on my own terms. We’ll see.

  13. shannondermott

    October 25, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    So, I’m going to post part of AOM sometime before the weekend is out. Just an FYI for those who pay attention to these post. Thanks! 🙂

    • Michele Hammel

      October 25, 2012 at 12:51 pm

      Thank you Shannon, we all love you for doing this! I hope with some time, you may find it in you to release the whole book. I’ll be first in line to buy it. I’ve honestly felt just heart sick over all of this. The God’s honest truth is, I’ve been eagerly been waiting for AOM for months. I check Goodreads everyday to see how many more people have added AOM to their to read shelf. And I checked Amazon everyday too to see how close we were to another POV post. I love those!!! I really love the story and I’m so depressed that selfish people have made you change your mind about doing something you love and are obviously meant to do.

      With much love and support,


      • ewa

        October 25, 2012 at 4:06 pm

        same here 🙂 good to know I am not alone in my craziness about this series. 🙂

    • ewa

      October 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

      Happy to hear that! :):):) ….. but I do hope it will be just a teaser and book will be released eventually. *fingers crossed*
      Were you planning to get your books translated andpublished in other countries? Most of ppl where I live do not read in English, they prefer translation, so even if I wanted to help it’s a bit difficult to do some word of mouth marketing.
      It’s so sad, that no words are actually needed. Almost everyone suffers because of epiracy. Software companies, game companies, music & film industry, writers and ppl who work for all of aforementioned.. and so on.. but I do believe thinks actually are going in good directions. IIn my country, we did notice that a lot of web sides with piracy stuffs were closed, some people are even afraid to download anything. We had big epiracy campaign some time ago. What is worst, some people, like many in China, illegally download because they cannot afford to purchase legitimate copies. That’s double sad.

      Good Lord, this comment turned out a bit long. I get carried away. I just wanted to say I love and respect your work Shanon, please keep faith, dream big dreams, big times are here.

  14. Jamie Brown

    October 25, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    Shannon!!!! I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you. I know there’s nothing we can say that will make you feel better, but after all this you need to know your friends and fans support you. I will personally be heart broken to learn that you will never finish the series that has turned me into your stalker. lol. I also understand if you need time away from writing to put a few things into perspective. But you have an amazing talent girl and I don’t think you should waste it. And I know all your fans agree with me. I will keep stalking I hope you do continue writing because you have so many of us hooked. Love, Jamie

  15. shannondermott

    October 25, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    In all honesty, I wish I wouldn’t have known the exact number of downloads. It is in the knowing that hurts so much. I’m not as mad today as I was yesterday or the day it happened. I just need some more time. It’s good to hear from you guys. Feeling more rational, I don’t want three people to change the outcome of my life. But you see, it’s just not those three who have done it. There are many more who feel that they have a “right” to post my and other author’s work. I don’t have the time to chase after websites daily to shut them down. So there is my problem. What is the point if I have to add a fourth job to my life, web police? And what about all of you who do buy the book, is it fair hundreds of others download it for free? *sigh*

    • Erica Cavill

      October 25, 2012 at 5:05 pm

      I will pay because I want the book that much and appreciate the talent you have that I do not.

  16. shannondermott

    October 25, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    You guys are the best! 🙂

  17. Jamie Brown

    October 25, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Shannon I love your books so much I first bought the ebooks. After I couldn’t stop reading them I went out and bought the paper backs! And once I add you to my favorites I will continue to buy your books. Ebooks or paperbacks! Thats how much I love what you do! I save up for my geek stash. lol. But you see, my stash will never be complete until I get my hands on whatever it is you decide to write. I’m sure if we all could we would all chip in and make up for what others did to you. Again I’m so sorry but don’t give up on us!

  18. Cristal

    October 25, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    My friends and I love your series. It would be a sad day if you stop writing Mercy’s stories. Please do not end things as S. Meyer did by publishing only part of an unfinished book. Thank you for all the POV posts and the prelude. We look forward to knowing how the story ends the way you intended to tell it. Just remember they only shared it because it was worthy of sharing. Unlike the bad people out there, when I want to share something a buy a friend a copy as a gift. We’ll stay positive and keep hoping you decide to keep the series going. Thank you for sharing you stories and feelings with your fans.

  19. shannonfan!

    October 25, 2012 at 11:26 pm

    I love your stories!They are so amazing. I am a huge dork and have checked your blog daily for months waiting for angel of mercy. Write for those of us fans that pay good money and get our lives enriched by living vicariously for a few days in your imagination. Good artists like you are more than just a few numbers. Take heart! I have been waiting months to PAY for your story 🙂 help me out 🙂 dont be like stephanie meyers when she found host online and refused to publish the sequel. If you need to go after the site 🙂 whatever you need to make your genius want to imagine for us again 😉 Please have Mercy! 🙂

  20. shannondermott

    October 26, 2012 at 12:01 am

    It’s nearly midnight here and I’m tired, so I’m not sure I’m following. You don’t want me to post part of Angel of Mercy, you’d rather wait for me to finish it? No matter how long it takes me???

    • Cristal

      October 26, 2012 at 12:27 am

      Please finish the story. Some POV’s to keep us going till it’s done would be great! 🙂 Just know we support your work & hope to get to enjoy the whole story just not part of it.

    • melanie Genanatti

      October 27, 2012 at 9:48 pm

      yes finish don’t give up on the ones that are willing to follow you to the end. There are so many bad people, but there is definitely a lot of good people as well. Expensive hobby yes, touching readers lifes even if in a story Priceless

  21. ewa

    October 26, 2012 at 12:44 am

    Agree with Cristal !!

  22. Colleen

    October 26, 2012 at 1:49 am

    My heart goes out to you. It must feel horrible. But my heart is also going NNNOOOOOOO. I need to know what you had planned for Luke, Flynn and Mercy – please don’t finish it now with a blood bath, though I can see the appeal, you would only break the hearts of the readers that have paid to read your fantastic tale. I hope you are able to find your way through this betrayal.

  23. shannondermott

    October 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Thanks Michele for the heads up. I thought I would share with the rest of you. Apparently Jennifer L. Armentrout is having a bad week with ePiracy. The site she mentions in her blog post is the other site I found my books on earlier this year. Here is her blog post.

    In conclusion, publishers aren’t going to support/pay authors to continue series that aren’t selling. Kind of like tv series get cancelled if they don’t have viewership. So the lost sales mean, no more books. The sad thing is the book can be popular. However, without creditable sales numbers, the book series is cancelled and the author gets laid off so to speak.

    We do work hard, and a $1 for beg for Mercy is less than the average cost for a pack of gum. $4 for Waiting for Mercy is less than the cost of a movie ticket or DVD on average.

    Anyway, I’m not going to get on my soap box again. For those that have waited patiently for AOM, I’ll figure out something. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Master Yoda I telling me the force is with me, lol. And Paul wants out of his coma. And Mercy is trying to give the breath of life. Can you imagine what Luke would say if he saw that sight? And I just need to focus on that spark to find the urge to write. It’s just out of my reach…..for now.

  24. shannonfan!

    October 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    I meant i would be sad if you didn’t fulfill your vision and ended it because of loser jerks that steal from authors. I would pay double for your books because it takes me away from my problems and lets me have Mercy’s experiences….and believe me i have a lot of problems to get away from. Authors like you really do have great talents to share and make a difference in peoples lives just by making us have a release from our day to day drudgery… Please finish the whole story. We don’t want part..we want all your story the way you want to write it. Just remember Picasso died not knowing how great he was, but you do, take advantage!

  25. shannondermott

    October 26, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Sorry that message self destructed, lol. Those who saw it awesome! 😀

    • Kayla S

      October 26, 2012 at 9:48 pm

      I’m pretty sure my heart just skipped a few beats…

  26. Jamie Brown

    October 26, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    Oh!!!! Please don’t stop!!!! I need the whole thing Shannon! And I swear I’ll pay double if thats what it takes.

  27. shannondermott

    October 26, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Opps, this got deleted too, lol. I will post it later. No worries if you missed it.

  28. Jamie Brown

    October 26, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    You’re killin me smalls

  29. shannondermott

    October 26, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    I wrote that a while ago. I’ve tried to write for the last hour and got 50 words down. But I tried. I guess I still need more time. Headed to bed. Have a great weekend.

  30. ADHN

    October 27, 2012 at 1:27 am

    Shannon – I am so sorry this happened to you. There is no justification for stealing. I do hope you finish the series, but if you can’t, I will still be happy to read the other series you write. 🙂 If you decide you can’t finish,well, I guess your fans (myself included) will have to use our imagination to finish it in our minds our own way. 🙂

    I do believe there are more people who are willing to pay for the books they read than thieves who steal. I have been reaching out to friends, telling them about the recent piracy that you have suffered, and have asked them to go out, check out your books and buy legal copies to read. I have also asked them to spread the word. Good people are out there, and if more attention is given to this problem, more controls will be put in place.

  31. Suzanne

    October 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I agree with everyone here. I would prefer to read the whole of AOM, no matter how long the wait. And managing to write 50 words is better than none 🙂 Hugs ❤

  32. shannondermott

    October 27, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Thanks everyone!

  33. Paige Rice

    October 27, 2012 at 11:38 pm

    Wow. I must say I am behind in your blog posting, as I am just reading this now. I am almost speechless at this…this atrocity. It is know that these unfortunate types of piracy do indeed happen. Sad as it is, with many things more than just music or amazing books. I know where you are coming from, likely feeling more than mad, or furious, but probably a bit heartbroken too. There are always going to be greedy people out there that do these types of things. People who I think we will always in a sense be “battling.”

    I just pray that you would have it in you to go on with your writing though. If not for those of us that do love the books and characters dearly, but for yourself too. I take it as this is something you are passionate about, otherwise, why would there be some much effort put in to it, some much time, care, and personally what I feel as love. Maybe even a part of you too. Even though writing is described as a “hobby” by your husband, there are things that become so much a part of our lives (even hobbies) that become almost necessary for us to do. Whether they are our little get away times for ourselves or for us to be fulfilling out our passions. If not though, maybe I am wrong and speaking more for others…? But could you image a life where you don’t write?

    I feel that I am sometimes in a similar battle with copyright issues on my own work. (My photography, artwork, poetry, etc.) Though it is different than what happened with your work being stolen and downloaded (eeek! so many times)…my struggle is more trying to maintain my copyright on everything. All while hoping no one would try to steal the work. I never truly know to what end people are respecting legal laws and being honest. Especially with the interaction people have with the work online. I recently had a photo that ended up being used on a poster (which legally was allowed because it was sort of a “shared” copyright), however, my work was never credited nor was my name associated anywhere with it. So it felt kind of half hearted and pained that so many people would be seeing something of my own but not know who’s it was.

    However, even still with all the battles and struggles that occur….even financially for myself (as being a fine artist is not the biggest for profit) I still do what I can to move forward. I think it is important to remember to do what you love. For me it is do what I love, not matter what the costs. Simply because I no that I am not making my work to make money, but for myself and to share it with others. I have other jobs to make ends meet (as I am assuming you do too) so a lot of times what we love to do does become a whole other job in and of itself, or hobby on top of the life we already are leading to keep up with the real world bills. I just hope it is still enough for you to be happy with what you are doing so that you can continue. None us of what for you to be unhappy Shannon. Nor do we want those assholes to be pirating your work and thus tampering with your feelings, motivations, and the integrity of the work.

    I think should be more fuel to the fire and you should stay strong. Keep writing. Keep doing what you need to for yourself. For your books. For your fans too. Don’t let these guys get the best of you! I do hate to say it, but there is always going to be battles like these to be fighting against. I guess you will need to decide if it is one thing that you are able to endure and still manage to come out on top. One can only hope that the outcome of those who did read it pirated loved it so much they then would go and buy it, like those of us who buy both eCopies and hard copies. I am wishing for the best. By the way, do we know how this keeps happening? Is it through the eCopies that they are doing this or what? Argh! Just pure frustrating! I am so sorry Shannon. I couldn’t imagine if that many people got my work for free (by stealing.) It’s like on one hand, nice to know people what to read it, but no it is completely not right! Your books are affordable and awesome so I just don’t get it….

    Well I am off to read your next post.

    • shannondermott

      October 28, 2012 at 8:15 am

      Thanks Paige! 😉 I’m sorry about your work. I’ve visited your paige and you work is awesome.

  34. Anthea Fishburn

    November 19, 2014 at 10:11 am

    I am so sorry that you have experienced this, Shannon. I love your books and have been visiting Amazon regularly to purchase Have no Mercy. I very selfishly hope you can see your way clear to completing the series. I understand your distress, but will be very sad if there is no more Mercy


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